someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
