His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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