this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
