Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
