There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
