You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
