The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
