so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize