I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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