No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
