i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
