u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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