Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
