I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
