Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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