Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
