I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
