So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
MIDGETS
????
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
