is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
