If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
