You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
