Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
love makes seman taste better
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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