I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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