member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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