At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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