a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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