hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
