O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
