This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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