Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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