Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
