glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
