i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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