I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
