so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
