Got a toothbrush?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
