I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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