I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
