i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
