I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
