and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
