Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
