try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
