Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ttyl tear gas
Found the puke drawer
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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