omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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