I just saw a hot homeless man
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
