I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
