your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
