you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
