So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
