No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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