the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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